Man plays with fish
Man plays with fish
Once I was walking home with some law school friends and they were like ”Why are you walking up that street your street is like three more streets up”
"Yeah but there’s a house on this street and sometimes their golden retriever naps in the sun on the sidewalk and I like to give him belly rubs"
Now all the law students walk up belly rub lane because law school is stressful and dogs rock
I bet that is the happiest dog
"I was about to leave for work the other day, so I stopped in her room to wake her up. And the first thing she said was: ‘Dad, I need a surprise.’
I said: ‘You need a what?’
She said: ‘I need a surprise.’
So I ran to the store and got her a doll, brought it to her, and went to work.”
Must be a slow business day.
Okay so I think Chris Evans was saying in an interview about how it’s always the children who discover the hero in disguise, and I just realized why: it’s because they’re short enough to see under the hat and they’re innocent and hopeful enough to still believe in heroes.
it’s because they’re short enough to see under the hat
Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.
To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.
I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…
Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.
Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.
One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.
This is the best band post
Everyone else go home
Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this
which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,
that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that
Who does that?
This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.
More like Julius Fuckit
Pyrozod's tags for this were too hilarious not to share
What really gets me is the comment above the 8 fortes. Nichts für Lauwarmduscher - not for people who shower only lukewarm. Meaning no half measures here, guys.
What does the text over the 24 fortes say though
IF YOU HIT “X+C” IT SHUTS OFF EVERY GIF ON YOUR DASH
EVERY SINGLE ONE TURNS TO A LITTLE GREY BOX WITH A LOCK
TUMBLR HAS MADE ITSELF SAFE FOR EPILEPTICS
PASS IT ON
I BRING FORTH THIS KNOWLEDGE TO ANY FELLOW TUMBLRITES/SEIZURE-PRONE PEOPLE THAT MAY FOLLOW ME
KINDLY THANK THE OP FOR THIS KNOWLEDGE
I AM A HUMBLE MESSENGER
oh i thought this would be useful for when your parents walk by but ok
BREAKING: DISNEYLAND NO LONGER HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH
the future looks bright
I WOULD HOPE SO
Australian company Bioconst has released a line of genetically modified fluorescent flowers that produce a protein that glow when exposed to a proprietary UV LED
Then they don’t glow in the dark. They glow under black light.
Dear lord, I love Vin Diesel. He’s like if The Rock had a crisis and realized that all of his emotional pain was caused by refusing to fully, unironically commit to a direction.
Fudge recipe on a headstone
I feel like I should make this just to be able to say a dead person taught me how to make it. Maybe I’ll do it for Halloween.
I desperately hope that she spent her entire life telling people that they could have her fudge recipe “over my dead body.”
That last comment is absolutely worth reblogging.
Can one use her marble slab?